Gravitas (Sorry guys!)

I apologize for the last two posts. I've been feeling really lazy, and it was hot, and I've been feeling really lazy.
I just finished reading The Confessions of Zeno, which is indirectly the inspiration for this post. Without getting into the story, it's an examination of identity. What exactly makes you "you", whether it's possible to change who you are or if character is destiny, and (my favorite) the quite possible futility of self-analysis are all ideas that this book examines. Again, without going into too much detail, because of certain things that have happened to me recently these ideas are having a more than usual appeal.
I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible to change who you are. If it means recognizing patterns of behavior and changing them, I don't see how that's possible. Even if you can recognize certain patterns, what if certain habits, under certain circumstances, are good things and getting rid of them would leave you worse off? I happen to believe that our vices are usually misplaced virtues. If that's the case, I don't even see how change would be desirable. It's even possible that analyzing, identifying and then failing to do anything about it is part of your character. There wouldn't be anyway to change that. Besides, being able to change our own behavior would imply a level a self-awareness that most of us don't have. I'm not sure I do. It's hard enough to be honest with others, I'm not sure how honest we ever are with ourselves.
What I'm getting at is that I'm growing skeptical about whether or not any kind of transcendence is possible. It'd be like a prison trying to escape itself. At best, I'd be willing to grant that recognizing certain habits might allow you to mitigate them, or a least sometimes avoid situations where they'd cause you or someone else harm. But then again, it's possible that that kind of withdrawing is just another part of your personality that you're unaware of. Or maybe just lack of energy. How often do we stop doing something because we simply don't have the energy to do it anymore? If that's the case, I don't think we can really credit ourselves with "becoming better". Entropy is hardly a virtue, right?
Ask me about this again next week and I might say the exact opposite. It's just that I've been noticing things about myself, and I'm starting to wonder whether it wouldn't be a better idea to simple admit and accept certain things rather than wasting energy try to fight my way out of myself.
Slaps on the back of the head and exhortations to snap out of it are warmly encouraged.